no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
