I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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