I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
