Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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