SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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