Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
