But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
