oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
