WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
