"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
