Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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