Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I intend to get homeless drunk
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
