you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
