i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
