i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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