I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
