I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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