do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
