You surviving the open bar?
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Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
someone owes me an orgasm
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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