So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
