Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
