My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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