you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
