i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
