So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
