I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Randomize
