i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this boner is exhausting
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You ruined the universe
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
