my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Panties = found
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
