i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
