I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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