hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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