'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
