What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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