he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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