I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
