Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
