8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
