I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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