sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
