So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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