i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
