her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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