Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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