Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
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