I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
