You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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