I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
