Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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