There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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