I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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