Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
