we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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